I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
