I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
