Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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