Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
