Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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