You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
