i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
ttyl tear gas
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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