Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
