Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
