Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
