jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
its not stalking. its research.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
