You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Please don't give away my fajitas
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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