One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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