in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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