I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
