I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
