I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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