I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
