He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Randomize
