I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
