Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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