I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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