Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
