Pants 0. Shit 1.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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