remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
