god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize
