I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just invented taco cereal.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
