One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Someone shattered a urinal.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Do you remember whose house we're in?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
