at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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