i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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