flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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