Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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