sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
