My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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