Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
