I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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