sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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