Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
