thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
