the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
