Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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