sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
