We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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