I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
