Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
