I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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