But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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