Ambien. No doubt about it.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
