The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
jump out the window naked night went bad
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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