She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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