did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
These tits shall not be calmed
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
